The Foreign Papers Outtakes and Extras
by javamomma0921
Summary: What the title suggests, a collection of outtakes, extras, and additions to the main story. These will go out of order, as I have them, and it will update sporadically. M for obvious reasons.
1. The Beat of My Heart

_**The Beat of My Heart:**_

_**A TFP Outtake for Fandom Fights Tsunami**_

_Touch my skin, and tell me what you're thinking_

_Take my hand and show me where we're going_

_Lie down next to me, look into my eyes and tell me, oh tell me what you're seeing._

_So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling_

_What you feel now is what I feel for you_

_Take my hand and if I'm lying to you_

_I'll always be alone_

_If I'm lying to you_

_See my eyes, they carry your reflection_

_Watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you_

_Give your trust to me and look into my heart and show me, show me what you're doing_

_So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling_

_What you feel now is what I feel for you._

_**Take My Hand,**__ Dido 1999_

_**Disclaimer: **__All characters belong to SM. Original plot belongs to this author. No copying please._

_Many thanks to my beta team, DeJean Smith, Swimom7, Shasta53, and Sparklybabs. This outtake was written especially for the Fandom Fights Tsunami Fundraiser. My thoughts, prayers and love to all affected by this disaster. As a refresher, this outtake is a companion Alternate POV of chapter 14 of TFP. _

* * *

><p><em>Vampire<em>, she thought again.

Looking at him sprawled on the couch and watching her as though he might pounce upon her, Bella could almost imagine him . . . hunting. Edward patted the small space between himself and the back of the couch, but when she reached him, she pressed against his chest. She knew that she couldn't push him, but he moved where she wanted him to anyway. When he was lying on his back, she straddled him and lowered her body over his.

She rested her hands over his chest and then leaned her chin against her hands so that she could see his face. He was shaking his head at her in either disbelief or amazement.

"What are you shaking your head at?" she asked, her voice low.

Edward's breath fanned over her face making her eyes flutter.

"Your reactions _are_ a little off, you know," he teased. "Most people would hear the word vampire and bolt."

"You're not that scary, Mr. Masen," she said, attempting to sound brave. "You don't even have fangs. What kind of vampire _are_ you anyway?"

"Not that scary?" He spoke quickly, a growl building in his chest.

As always, the sound aroused Bella, turning her insides to jelly and making her want to rip his sweater off so that she could feel the growl reverberating against her bare hands. Before she realized that he had moved, she was in the air, and he was moving over her. She was lying on her back, her hands on his shoulder and his lips millimeters from her neck. It was insane, but the thought of Edward's _teeth_ inches from her pulse point sent desire throbbing through her veins. _Lovely,_ she thought maniacally, _now you want the vampire to bite you. Very wise_.

"You know, it isn't very smart to tease the vampire, love," he purred, driving her already overheated body into a frenzy. "I may feel the need to prove how scary I can be."

"Perhaps this is further evidence of my insanity," Bella panted, "but that really turned me on."

Edward ran his nose up the length of her neck, making her giggle as his cool skin grazed her. When he darted his tongue out and pressed it against the soft skin behind her ear, she sighed heavily and arched her body up to his. She felt his teeth, covered by his silky lips, capture the lobe of her ear and it ramped her heart rate up through the roof. The things she wanted this man – this _not_ man – to do to her were endless.

"Yes, clinically insane," he said as he settled at her side. "I shall have to keep you here for your own safety."

"And how will you treat me?" She smirked at him, batting her eyelashes coquettishly.

She groaned, reaching out for him when he purred in response to her question, but he held his finger up to her lips.

"Questions first . . . treatment later."

Edward's lips brushed gently against hers, and she moaned softly, but nodded when he pulled away.

"I do have questions," she admitted. "Scads of them."

The truth was she didn't know where to begin. His age, his history, the papers, his _diet_ . . . the last of which scared her to ask him, though she thought it would have to be her first question. She needed to know that more than anything. As she opened her mouth to ask, Edward held up his finger again.

"Before you commence questioning, may I say something?"

Bella nodded, puzzled at what would cause him to interrupt but eager to hear what he would say.

"Thank you. For uncovering my secret and for loving me in spite of it. I never thought . . . couldn't imagine . . . ever finding anyone who would understand or _want_ me. But you do, and it has made all the difference in the world."

She wanted to tell him that she would have gone anywhere, done anything just to find out his secret, but he didn't let her. Instead, he covered her mouth with a gentle kiss that slowly built until Bella's hands were twined in his hair and they were both breathless.

"Knowing that I can do that to you, even now that you know what I am, is more of a gift than you can possibly imagine."

She eased her grip on his hair and ran her fingers through the feather soft strands. He shivered as she swirled her fingers at his hairline. What Bella saw in his golden eyes as she gazed into them was enough to stop her breath. It would have been easy to get lost in that look, overwhelmed with depth of his emotion. Instead, she smiled and accepted it, for once choosing not to question the why or the how. She ran her thumb over his cheek, and he chuckled, breaking the electric connection between them.

"So . . . what erroneous vampire legend shall I debunk first? Garlic, holy water, crosses . . . hmm? What would you like to know first?"

Bella could tell that he was struggling to keep his voice light, but she heard the underlying fear. Part of her wanted to reach out to him, to reassure him that nothing he could tell her would make her run from him, but she understood his trepidation. Instead of prolonging it, she jumped headfirst into the questioning.

"What do you eat?" Her voice came out quickly as she stumbled over the words.

"I'm a vampire," Edward replied evenly. "I drink blood."

Her scientist's curiosity won out over her worry for his feelings as she cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"Yeah, but what kind? You said something outside that confused me. You said your eyesight helped you locate deer and foxes. The papers that I read only talked about vampires hunting . . . well, humans."

Edward seemed amused by her halting explanation, chuckling as she finished speaking and running a finger through her hair. His touch diffused some of her discomfort, and she relaxed her tense shoulders, waiting for his answer.

"I told you I was on a special diet, even for my kind. My fam – Alice and I, consider ourselves vegetarians. We only feed from the blood of animals and abstain from human blood."

Bella did not miss his slip of the tongue, cataloguing the question of family for later. She nodded slowly as she processed the information. Edward's quiet voice interrupted her thoughts.

"You told me you never considered me a monster," he said. "What did you think I ate if not animal blood?"

How did she answer this without offending him? She'd barely had enough time to process the word vampire and relate it to the man she was in love with; she hadn't gone about exploring the moral implications of his diet. She'd just . . . accepted.

"Remember, I haven't had long to digest this," she cautioned him, "but I just assumed you drank from humans. But it never occurred to me think of you as a killer. I just thought . . . well, I thought you got around it somehow."

She let her hand fall heavily onto her lap, knowing that her explanation fell far short of explaining her bold declaration that she never considered him a monster. She just couldn't picture the beautiful, gentle man who cradled her gently as she slept ripping into people's throats and draining their blood. She shivered involuntarily at the thought.

"Got around it? Did you think I was a regular visitor to the blood bank?"

Bella frowned at his mocking tone and slapped his shoulder, hard enough to make her hand sting. He seemed unaffected by the blow.

"I said I haven't had long to think about it, and I'm not trying to insinuate that I'm not _thrilled_ you don't dine on humans." She shuddered again, unwillingly, and noticed that he had seen it. She tried to think quickly, to find some way to make it okay. "I guess . . . well, I guessed that your ability to read minds played into it. I thought, perhaps, that you culled your – victims – from the baser section of society."

Edward's eyes seemed to bore into her, in either shock or amazement. At first, she felt uncomfortable because he was looking at her so intently. Then, she began to feel what could only be described as pressure on her mind. It felt as though something was nudging against her temple. She gasped softly as she realized she was feeling Edward's gift. Thankful that he couldn't see into her mind, she squirmed uncomfortably.

"What?" she asked uncomfortably. As soon as she spoke, the pressure faded. "What are you thinking?"

"It's just sometimes you say things, and I wonder if you can't see into _my_ mind. When I was younger, well, a younger vampire . . . I tried that from time to time. If I read base thoughts in someone's mind, I would take it upon myself to rid society of the criminal. It was my excuse for giving into my desire for human blood, but I haven't done that in cen – many years."

Another slip of the tongue, but this one Bella could not ignore.

"How old are you?" she asked.

Edward's cool fingers ran over her heated face, and she searched his face, looking for signs that he was displeased or uncomfortable with her line of questioning.

"Twenty-nine," he answered firmly.

"Wait . . . you're the same age as me?" Bella asked.

Bella's mind worked around the numbers, but even in her heart she'd known before that this man – this _being_ – was far older than her twenty-nine years.

"Physically, yes," he murmured.

Bella's eyes widened and then her brows knitted again as she geared herself up to ask the question that needed to be answered.

"How long have you _been_ twenty-nine?"

"Four hundred and seventy-five years."

Again, Bella was left speechless and unable to breathe. He'd been on this earth, walking, talking, breathing, for over five hundred years. She ran her hands over his face, looking at him the way she might look at a precious document. He had walked through history, and he was lying with _her_. It was too much to take in.

"Are you looking for signs of aging?" If possible, Edward appeared nervous, laughing as he spoke. "You won't find any . . . I don't – can't age."

"Shh," she said, trying to calm him. "I can't even fathom how long you've walked this earth."

"Oh, come now. Surely you've dated documents older than me," he whispered, his eyes searching hers. "I can't be _that_ decrepit."

"Hush," she scolded. "You're perfect and you know that. That's not what I mean. The things you've seen, the _history_ you've lived through . . . I must seem so provincial in light of all of that."

Bella continued to trace the lines of his face with her fingertips, brushing the skin under his eyes and trailing down until she reached his lips. Edward moved so quickly that she couldn't _see_ him kiss each of her fingers, but she felt every burning kiss upon her skin.

"I've seen kings and princes fall, countries absorbed, and wars end, but you are the most amazing thing I have ever laid eyes on."

A thought occurred to Bella and it made her blush, looking down in shame. She wanted to ask him how he'd spent the last 500 years, but it seemed silly in light of his prior declarations of love for her. He was with her, revealing secrets he'd kept to himself for centuries. It should be enough . . . and yet, it wasn't. She wanted to know if he had loved before.

"I hate not knowing what you're thinking," Edward whispered, his fingers gentle on her forehead as though he was probing at the veil between their minds.

"It's silly," Bella said, her voice rushed as she tried to hide her curiosity from him. "Unimportant, really."

"Nothing you want to know is unimportant," he replied. "You can ask me anything without fear of judgment, and I'll answer you honestly. I have no secrets left to hide from you."

_Really?_ she thought. _Will you feel the same when I ask of your former loves?_ She knew her questions would plague her until she got an answer, so she plunged forward.

"Were you always – alone? I mean . . . am I . . ."

"Shh."

His voice was a soft wisp of air and though it was meant to calm her, it sent her heart racing. She felt the tears welling up in her eyes, and she willingly let him pull her to his chest, burying her hot face against his cool body.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled into the fabric of his sweater. "I told you it was silly. You're with me now and that's all that matters."

"It's not silly for you to wonder," he replied. "I wonder about your past, and God knows mine is longer than yours. I had a wife when I was human. Her name was Victoria, and she died in childbirth two years after we were married."

Bella felt as though she had been punched. He'd had a family as a human. A wife, whose bed he had shared and whose body he had . . . She couldn't go on. She felt the bile of jealousy rise in her throat as she forced out the next words.

"You had . . . a family."

"No, I had a wife. My child died along with its mother; I didn't even know its gender. Times were very different then. We didn't marry because we loved each other. I mourned her and the child, but it was a duty. It wasn't love. In over 500 years, you are the first woman I have loved."

She let out the breath she had been holding in a long shuddering sigh. He loved her. Hearing those words again was like a balm to the hot jealousy that continued to pulse through her veins. It was silly. Whoever this woman, Victoria, was, she had been dead for over 475 years. It was preposterous to be jealous of her, and yet Bella wanted to run through time and scream in the woman's face that Edward loved her. She felt like a child.

"Tell me about her?" Bella's voice was thick with the tears she was attempting to hold back, but she felt she owed it to Edward, and the memory of his wife, to know about her.

"I don't remember her." Childish though it was, Bella said a silent prayer of thanks. "I remember that her hair was fiery red and that she had a sweet smile, but I can't remember her voice or whether we were happy."

Bella's eyes flitted to Edward's bronze hair, and she wondered . . . what would the babe have looked like? Would he or she have favored Edward or his faceless wife with the sweet smile? Either way, Bella thought the child would have been heartbreakingly beautiful, and she found herself able to mourn the two lost lives . . . and to give thanks for the good fortune of having Edward in her arms.

"Well, 475 years is a long time. That's a lot of memories."

"I remember every one of my immortal years with perfect clarity. Human memories are different. We can save some of them, if we hold onto them in our first years. I didn't hold onto Victoria. I know that must sound heartless, but it is what it is."

She was glad that he hadn't held onto her; it would have made it worse in so many ways if he had mourned her enough to hold her memory with him. As it was, she was part of the distant past, and she would remain there. But there were so many other things Bella wanted to know.

"I want to know everything," she said fervently, "even the things you think are mundane or you think I won't understand. Tell me about how you knew the Cullens. Has it always been just you and Alice, or were there others? Who wrote the letters? Edward, I want to know it all."

Edward seemed amused by her questions and shook his head.

"My past is a tangled web of stories, but it is all linked to the Cullens. Carlisle Cullen, the patriarch of that family, was my creator. My father, if you will."

"If you knew them, why have me examine the documents?"

"They're gone, Bella."

There were no tears in his eyes, but his voice broke as though the words cut him to his very core. She could only imagine what would be enough to tear at him in such a way.

"Gone? Your kind can … die?"

"We can be destroyed, but that isn't what happened to them. They're still alive, but they've been taken by another set of vampires. Their memories of us have been erased. For them, it is as though we never existed. They took our foster parents, our siblings and . . . Alice's mate."

The word _mate_ seemed foreign to Bella. She'd heard of it in reference to animals who mated for life. She thought, perhaps, it was something like marriage.

"Alice's . . . oh! Is that like her husband?"

Edward was silent for a few moments as he thought over his answer, and Bella felt her pulse pick up as she waited for him to reply.

"You could say that, though marriage is a human construct with human limitations. When a vampire mates, it is for life . . . which for us is eternity."

Bella felt warm all over. Immediately, she wanted to know if that is what he felt for her, if he wanted her for an eternity. But instead of asking him that, and risking rejection, she focused on Alice.

"That is awful for Alice," Bella whispered, averting her eyes from his. "I can't imagine the pain she must be in. How long?"

"They were taken twenty years ago. We haven't seen them since."

Bella drew in a deep breath and plunged ahead, hoping she already knew the answer to her next question.

"And . . . you didn't have a . . . mate?"

She bit her lip in anticipation and dropped her eyes. There was a small thread on his sweater that she worried with her fingers as she waited. Edward's icy touch on her chin drew her out of her own thoughts, and she lifted her face, looking into his smoldering eyes.

"No, you are the only woman who has ever held my heart, dead though it may be."

_Dead?_ She thought, placing her hand over his chest. She waited, breath held and head cocked to the side in frustration. Hadn't she touched his chest before? How had she not noticed the silence there? How had she not noticed the lack of . . . anything? Edward reached over to her hand and lifted it, resting it over her own racing heart.

"It beats here now."

His voice held the weight of a solemn promise, and Bella's mind was clouded with thoughts of forever. She knew that this was the moment to ask him what her heart had wanted to know from the moment he mentioned the word "mate."

"Am I your mate, Edward?"

"I can't . . . It is not up to me. For me, there is no other; there never will be. You are my heart and my life now."

Though she should have been happy to hear that there would never be another for him, she was angry. How could he not know what she felt for him?

"How can you even doubt that I feel the same?" Her voice rose in anger as she spoke, shaking her head. "I'm lying here next to a vampire talking about your vampire family that has been stolen from you by—wait for it—other vampires. Jesus, Edward, I'm not running away from you. That should stand for something!"

"Please don't be angry. I don't doubt your feelings," he explained. "But I won't make decisions for you or place terms on your feelings that you don't fully understand. Yes, I consider you my mate. But I would never presume to say that you feel the same."

It hadn't occurred to Bella that Edward might feel doubt as well. He wanted her forever, _his_ forever, but he wasn't willing to place his terms on her. It was up to her explain her feelings to him.

"I do," she whispered with feeling. "I might be unable to fathom an eternity the way that you can, but I can't imagine one second of my life without you in it."

Edward's breath came out in a sob of emotion as he kissed her. He didn't hold back as he normally did, instead moving over top of her and pressing his body down against hers. She couldn't get enough of feeling him against her body. Bella wrapped her arms around him and tried pulling him down harder against her, but he resisted, slowing down their kiss and easing away from her. Something inside of Bella snapped, and she growled, grabbing his hair harshly in her hands.

"No!" she cried, looking deeply into his eyes. "Don't pull away from me. Not now . . . not tonight."

Edward moaned as he slipped his cool fingers under her shirt and felt along her ribs. She pulled his tongue into her mouth, wanting as much of him as he would give to her. When his lips moved down her neck and over her collarbone, Bella tightened her fingers around his neck, wanting him to kiss her harder. His lips hovered near her ear, and Bella moaned softly.

"Tell me what you want." His voice was a low growl that made Bella move against him in frustration. Couldn't he feel what he was doing to her, how much she wanted him?

"Make love to me," she panted, arching her body up to meet his. "We've both wanted this from the moment we met. And now . . . there's nothing stopping us. I know . . . and I still want you. I _need_ you. And I love you."

He pressed his hardness against her center, and she groaned, wrapping her leg around his hip to bring him even closer.

"I'm afraid." His voice was a pained whisper.

Bella chuckled as he looked down at her, not understanding what he was saying.

"What could a vampire be afraid of?" she asked, still laughing.

"Breaking you," he replied. "I can't just turn the strength off, and it's remarkably difficult to remember you aren't indestructible when you're writhing beneath me like that."

His voice was desperate and he brought his lips crashing against hers as hard as he would allow himself, rocking against her as he did. Bella could feel how much he wanted her and knew that the question of his control made him unable to give in to his desire. She pulled away from him and gently caressed his face.

"You told me yourself," she whispered. "You could never harm me. Love me, Edward. It's the right time."

Edward's kiss was different, deeper and freer than he had ever kissed her before. Bella felt the tight bands of his control breaking as he let himself give into her. She was up and moving through the air in his arms before she realized what was happening. He flashed across the room toward the fireplace and laid her gently on the thick rug that covered the stone floor.

"What . . ."

"I told you before, when I had you it would be perfect. I want you in front of the fire."

His words lit a fire of desire within her. She moved to reach out for him, but he was gone in a flash of blurring speed. Her eyes raced to keep up with him as he moved around the room. In less than a second he was in front of her again, scattering the rug with plush pillows and kneeling by her side.

"It's really more freeing than I could have imagined being able to be myself in front of you."

Bella sighed and smiled, reaching out for him with shaking fingers.

"I don't want you to have to hide from me anymore," she whispered. "We're together . . . nothing is going to change that."

When his lips met hers, she cried out and arched her body up to meet his. His fingers played for a moment at the hem of her shirt before she heard a ripping sound. She gasped as she looked down at herself, her shirt torn wide open.

"So . . . that was hot . . . but I don't have a change of clothes." She laughed nervously as she spoke, caught somewhere between excitement and surprise.

His fingers trailed his icy touch up her body, stopping quickly at her bra to snap it open. His laughter sent shivers throughout her body.

"Maybe I don't like you wearing clothes."

His voice was full of dark desire and it made Bella realize who and what she was playing with. She wasn't frightened of him, but the danger of his nature thrilled her. And the fact that he didn't feel the need to hide that from her made it even more exciting. Still, she was going to need clothes.

Just as she was about to open her mouth, he captured the already hardened peak of her nipple between his lips. She cried out as he circled it with his tongue.

"Maybe not," she gasped, trying to remain rational. "But Alice might. Like me wearing clothes, that is."

Edward growled, sending a jolt of desire straight through her, and released her breast. He looked down at her with his dark eyes burning in the firelight, and she almost tore off the rest of her clothes herself.

"Alice brought all of your clothes from the hotel to our home earlier this evening."

Edward lowered his head as though ready to return to her breast, but she placed her hand in the middle of his chest to stop him. She didn't understand how Alice would have gotten her clothes or why.

"Psychic, remember? She saw you needing them. Now can we please stop talking about my sister while I'm trying to fuck you?"

Bella was convinced there was nothing sexier than the sound of Edward's soft British accent caressing the word _fuck_. She groaned as she fisted his sweater, pulling wildly at him to get his mouth back on hers. When his lips were on top of hers, she kissed him as hard as she could, moaning into his mouth. He pulled away with a chuckle, and she lay back, panting beneath him.

"You liked that? I thought it was rather crass, but . . ."

"Crass, maybe," she harshly, "but a definite turn on. Now . . . follow through."

It was possibly wrong, but at the moment it was exactly what she wanted. She _wanted_ him to tear the rest of her clothes off of her body and fuck her . . . hard. Of course, she also wanted him to love her gently all night long. She wanted it all. Bella grunted in frustration as she tried to pull his sweater off of his body. He smiled at her, pulling it off carefully and throwing it on the couch.

"I'm glad you didn't rip that one," Bella said as she let her fingers play up his stomach. "I rather like that color green next to your hair."

Edward looked stunned, and laughed in surprise at her words.

"What? What's funny?"

"Nothing." His voice was distracted at he ran his fingers over her shoulder, helping her out of her ripped shirt and bra. "It's just . . . well, when I was human, my eyes were that color."

She looked at him for only moment before nodding and smiling.

"I can see that," she whispered kneeling in front of him, "but I love your eyes now. They speak _volumes_ to me."

And they did. As she looked at him, she could tell how hungry he was for her body. He wanted to lay her down and bury himself within her. She could see it clearly in the predatory look haunting his face. But he held back, as he always would, because she was fragile. In order for him to let go and love her, she would have to take control.

Bella wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her breasts against his cool chest and hissing at the way his skin felt against hers. He ran his fingers lightly down her back, and she arched herself even closer to him, crying out as he swirled his fingers at the base of her spine.

"I need to ask you something," he whispered, his voice hesitant as he pulled away from her.

"Anything," she replied.

He smiled and laid his hand over her heart. Bella began to worry about his question when he hesitated, wondering what he could be concerned about.

"I need to know if you've been intimate with anyone else before," he said softly. "I'm not asking because of . . . jealousy. I need to know if there is a chance you'll bleed."

Bella could see the embarrassment on his face even though it was impossible for him to blush. She hated that it was uncomfortable for him and immediately wanted to ease his fear.

"Shh," she soothed him. "I'm not a virgin. And . . . you're allowed to be jealous. I mean, I kind of want you to be. I want all of you, and I'm not embarrassed about being jealous of a woman who died almost five hundred years ago. My history is much more recent. And . . . I wish I didn't have those memories."

Even if it would have been more difficult for him, she wished that she could have given him that gift. The men who came before, what few there were, were nothing compared to him. An angry look crossed Edward's face for just a moment before it faded, and immediately Bella wondered what he had thought. Before she could ask, he pulled her closer to him and sighed.

"I haven't been alone for five hundred years," he murmured, his lips brushing her forehead as he spoke. "You were honest with me. I owe you the same. There have been other . . . women. Not humans, but . . . well . . ."

Pain. Like a sharp knife through her heart, ripped through her as she thought of him with anyone else. She breathed through it, and when she could, she spoke.

"Can we agree that whatever happened before we met is past and doesn't matter?" she asked, hoping her voice didn't betray the momentary pain she had felt. "I appreciate your honestly. It means so much to me . . . but I don't want to know about anyone else. I'm glad to know you weren't completely alone, but I don't want to picture you with anyone else. I just want you all to myself."

The truth was she _was_ glad that he had found comfort in someone. The thought of him being completely alone for 500 years was horrifying and to know that at least there was someone, or several someones, who helped keep the loneliness at bay, eased her worry for him. But now that they were together, she wanted to never think of whoever those people, or creatures, might have been. He was hers; she didn't want to share.

Edward bent his face to hers and kissed her sweetly, almost reverently, and she could feel his promise to her in his kiss. She returned his kiss with as much love as she could give him, taking his tongue into her mouth and running her fingers lightly up his chest. For the first time while they kissed, she noticed the absence of his heartbeat, and it troubled her. She pressed her body against his, lending her thundering pulse to him. She wondered if he could feel it, or if his stone skin just absorbed it without even noticing.

Again, her fingers were in his silken hair. She felt him begin to purr as she ran her fingers through the strands.

"God, Bella," he groaned as her fingers moved more firmly. "I love it when you do that."

She tugged a bit harder on his hair, and he cried out, gripping her hips in his hands and moving his body against hers. She searched his scalp with her fingertips, pulling and tugging as she went.

"That?" she asked, her voice rough as she tugged again. "You like when I pull your hair?"

He kissed her desperately and panted into her mouth.

"Yes," he growled, his voice harsh and needy. "Harder."

She swallowed her instinctual fear of hurting him and pulled with all her might. She let the power she felt show on her face, urging him with her hands to tilt his head back. His neck was long and pale and open to her. She nipped at his throat with her teeth, not gaining any purchase on his skin, but seeming to drive him crazy. Bella clawed her fingers across his shoulders and moved her mouth up to his ear.

"What do you want, Edward?" she purred, licking at his ear as she spoke. "Hmm? Tell me how you want me."

He moved quickly as she thought he might, flipping her onto her back and ripping her jeans from her body. He moved his hands to her underwear, pausing for only a second before tearing them away as well. She looked up at him through lowered lashes and smiled.

"We're going to go through a lot of clothes if you can't stop yourself from ripping all of mine."

She leaned up on her elbows and reached out for the waistband of his khakis.

"Off," she said harshly.

She smiled as he complied quickly, kneeling before her, naked in under a second.

"You never answered me," she whispered. "What do you want?"

He bent over her, and his breath fanned over her hot skin, making her moan. As his tongue darted out to taste her collarbone, she writhed under him, wanting to feel his body meet hers.

"I want . . . to _fuck_ you," he whispered, his voice thick with desire.

Bella moaned and clawed at his back, trying to pull him down to her. His tongue made a clicking sound, and he shook his head slowly.

"I want to make love to you. I want everything. Now that you know how long I've been waiting for you, perhaps you can understand that I may never be sated."

"Now," she groaned. "I need you inside me."

She couldn't wait another second to feel him filling her, and Edward didn't make her wait. He slipped inside of her, his cool, hard member moving slowly within her heat. She heard him moan her name, and it sounded like a prayer, whispered as he continued to press into her. When he filled her completely, and she felt him settle within her, she lifted her legs and wrapped them around his back, pulling him even deeper still. Nothing had ever made her feel more content than having him inside of her. She looked up at him with all of the love she felt for him.

"We were meant to be together," she whispered. "Make love to me, Edward."

His movements were slow, restrained, but they sent shockwaves through Bella. Every inch of him moving in her seemed to bring her closer to the edge. She tightened and loosened around him, savoring the feel of his thrusts. As they moved, she didn't even notice the difference in their temperature any longer. They were the same, and he felt perfect.

Bella wanted to feel him buried within her, moving and teasing and owning her, throughout the night. But she was already close to falling over the edge. Her hips bucked erratically against him. Edward shifted, kneeling upright and supporting her back with his hand as he trailed his other hand over her body. He could move more solidly within her in this new position, and Bella could feel her orgasm coiling within her stomach.

"God, you're beautiful," Edward murmured, looking down at their bodies.

He brushed her nipple, making her cry out and move harder against him. She groaned and bit her lip as he continued to move rhythmically.

"More," she panted. "God, I'm so close, Edward."

He trailed his fingers down to her opening and moved inside her folds. She bucked against him, and he closed his eyes in concentration, swirling his finger steadily as he continued to thrust within her. He found her clit, circling it as he thrust, and it was exactly enough. She screamed as she came, fisting her hair in her hand. Edward stilled immediately, and she almost begged him to keep going, but she didn't have to. After only a second, he moved his fingers again, making her groan in pleasure.

"Harder," she whispered. "You can go harder."

She knew he wouldn't allow himself to move harder without her direction, and she wanted to give this to him. She wanted to show him that she could be in control too; she'd never let him fall. He moved his hands so that they gripped her hips, and he thrust, harder. It sent shockwaves through her body, pleasant and warm echoes of her climax.

Bella moved with him, encouraging him to continue thrusting harder until she felt the first twinge of pain. She told him to back down just slightly, and he did immediately. The pleasure was overwhelming, and Bella felt another orgasm building as his fingers pressed into her hips, and his cock thrust within her.

"Edward!" she cried as the pleasure uncoiled within her. "Let go."

With another swift thrust, he came, roaring her name.

* * *

><p>Edward lay between her and the fire, but Bella was still perspiring from the heat and from the exertion. She was pleasantly spent, happy and sated from love. Still . . . she wanted him again. As he had said before, she didn't think she would ever be completely sated. Edward's fingers trailed over her body in amazement until he reached her hips. He sighed as he fingered something, and Bella felt just a slight twinge.<p>

"What?" she asked, her voice thick and sleepy.

"I – bruised you. It will leave marks."

Bella looked down at her hips and shrugged, running her hands over the tiny bruises.

"I've gotten worse banging my shin on the foot of the bed," she said. "Besides . . . I kind of like it."

"Mmm." Edward brushed his lips against her forehead as he spoke. "Is this more evidence of your insanity?"

She laughed as she rolled over to face him, looking at him sternly.

"No, I'm serious. I like that there's a mark of yours on me. It's like you claiming me."

"I don't like hurting you," he replied stubbornly.

"It didn't hurt," she insisted. "Or, if it did, it was so lost in the good feelings that I never even noticed. Edward, they're ten tiny bruises. Can't you just enjoy the fact that we just made love . . . you know, without you killing me?"

She chuckled again, and she watched the smile spread across Edward's face slowly.

"How can you be so cavalier about that?" he asked, his tone betraying his near horror at her words.

"Oh, be serious, Edward. There was never any danger, was there? I just wanted to point out how ridiculous you were being over a few bruises."

He sighed as he shook his head.

"You've known my secret for less than a day, and already you are talking me down from ledges. Your mind is fascinating," he whispered. "It makes me wonder . . ."

Edward seemed to cut himself off, shaking his head angrily and sealing his lips.

"What? What does it make you wonder?"

"Nothing." His voice was terse and his eyes flashed up to hers in warning. "Nothing important."

"It's all important," she replied, ignoring the look in his eyes. "What does it make you wonder?"

He sighed in defeat and closed his eyes, exhaling slowly.

"I promised you honesty," Edward said. "Your mind makes dizzying jumps and puzzles out the most intricate problems so effortlessly. It makes me wonder . . . what your mind would be like – if you were like me."

And the seed was planted.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** I hope that, although this chapter happens in the past from where we are, it gives you a little more insight into Bella's character. I don't usually like to do alternate POVs of scenes because I think they get repetitive, but I felt like this one held enough new information to be interesting for all of you._

_You should know that chapter 21 of TFP is about 3/4 written and I hope to have it up for you by the weekend. ALSO, some big oFic news for me ... I've been writing and submitting short stories to different magazines. I haven't had a bite yet, but I'm very hopeful that I will soon. I started up an author twitter if you'd like to follow and get updates about my progress toward publication. I am JenD_Author on twitter. Look me up! I follow back! :) ~Jen_


	2. Aphrodite Sleeps

_**Aphrodite Sleeps:**_

_**A TFP Outtake for Fandom Fights Mental Illness**_

_And you have your own engaging style_

_And you've got the knack to vivify_

_And you make my slacks a little tight_

_You may unfasten them if you like_

_That's if you crash and spend the night_

_But you don't fold, you don't fade_

_You got everything you need, especially me_

_Sister, you've got it all._

_**Butterfly**__, Jason Mraz 2008_

_**Disclaimer:**__ SM owns Twilight; I simply own the desire to make them older and far more sexually aware. ;)_

_Many thanks to my betas DeJean Smith, Shasta53, Swimom7, and SparklyBabs. These ladies rock. This outtake was written especially for the Fandom Fights Mental Illness fundraiser, a charity very close to my heart. As a reminder, this takes place between chapters 3 and 4 of TFP._

* * *

><p>"Really, Alice, take out those ridiculous contacts," Edward said, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed.<p>

"You know they're quite useful," Alice teased as she sidled up next to him, blinking the contacts out into her hand. "Whatever would she have thought if both of us had the same eye color?"

"She wouldn't have noticed," Edward scoffed.

"She would, and you know it."

Alice pursed her lips, but Edward could see the way the corners turned up. His sister was playing with him.

"What do you know?" he asked, a resigned tone to his voice.

"I know everything, dear brother. It's really a question of what _you_ know."

Edward could hear her reciting the Latin names of flowers, and he sighed deeply. Alice could be more than difficult when she was eager for him to make up his mind about something.

"I like her," he admitted.

"Like her?"

Alice's brown eyebrows nearly disappeared into her short, spiky bangs as she looked at him incredulously. _I saw a bit more than _liking,_ Edward._

Her voice was mocking in his head and Edward frowned at her.

"She's . . . intriguing. Fascinating, really. I assume you know I can't hear her."

"That _is_ interesting. It must be maddening for you."

"Actually, it's calming," he said with a smile. "I'm not constantly bombarded with her thoughts on top of her words. It's just . . . Bella. And she can surprise me; how often does _that_ happen?"

"About as often as I get surprised," Alice said with a laugh. "Excellent. So, when are you going back?"

"I told her I would pick her up in the morning," Edward replied uncomfortably.

Naturally, he knew that Alice could see his desire to return to Bella's side in that moment, but it would be unwise. He could see himself in Alice's vision returning to Bella's hotel, scaling the wall, entering her room . . .

"I can't, Alice!" he cried.

_Sure you can_, she replied silently. _You need to trust yourself . . . and her. I know that's not easy for you_.

"I don't even know her, really," Edward said with a sigh. "What would she think if a strange man appeared in her room – someone who could not have a key? Besides . . . she might not even feel anything for me."

"Why do you say that?" Alice asked, her brow furrowed.

"I heard her on the phone with her father after I left," he confessed. "She said it was a business dinner; that it was _nothing_."

Alice rolled her eyes at him and shook her head. Deep down, Edward knew that those were only words to placate a worried father. However, he couldn't stop himself from feeling a pang of worry. He hadn't _seen_ the attraction in her mind; how could he be certain?

_It was most definitely something to her_, Alice thought. _You may not be able to read her mind, but I can see her choices and you've set that girl into a tailspin._

"A tailspin?" Edward asked, alarmed.

"Not in a bad way," Alice replied, stroking his arm gently. "It's just that you've made her question many things. She cares for you but doesn't understand why or how. She knows that her feelings shouldn't be this strong and yet . . . there they are."

"Do you think she'll run?"

The worry was heavy in Edward's mind. Try as he might to ignore the way Bella Swan had affected him, the very idea that she might leave him made him panic. Would he try to stop her? If he couldn't stop her, would he follow her? He simply couldn't imagine the possibility of a world without her in it.

_And all this turmoil after only a few hours of knowing her . . ._

Alice smirked as she teased him in his head.

"No, she won't run," she assured him. "She's determined to see this project – and you – out until the end."

Edward felt his shoulders relax minimally at his sister's certainty. He leaned back against the tree and began to breathe more naturally. Alice's mind was a calm place full of possibilities that included visions of him with Bella. It was pleasant and not unwelcome to think of the future with Bella in his life. As he relaxed even further, Edward caught of flash of something in Alice's mind before all of her visions were cut off and he was left only with her monotonous inner voice cataloguing trees in Arabic.

"What the hell, Alice?" he asked, irritated at having the happy visions of Bella stolen from him.

"I'll just leave you alone now," Alice said hurriedly.

Before she could dash out of the clearing, Edward blocked her and looked at her with a question in his eyes.

"You just . . . you're going to need to figure this one out on your own," Alice said, her voice halting as she focused on reciting useless information. "You'll never trust it if it comes from me; it has to come from you."

Even to his immortal eyes, it appeared as though Alice disappeared in a twirl of colorful fabric. Edward cursed her under his breath knowing full well she could hear him and not caring. He wasn't prepared to make decisions regarding Bella without Alice; truth be told, he wasn't prepared for Bella at all.

He moved through the forest, alternating between running and walking as he thought over the snippet of a vision he saw in Alice's mind before she ran off. It was impossible _not_ to dwell on that tantalizing vision of Bella laid bare before him. If Alice's vision was to be trusted, there was a chance Bella might choose to be with him. Physically.

Edward groaned and ran again. He would never allow her to make that choice without knowing all of his secrets, so the vision also meant there was a chance he would tell her. Or could it be that she would figure it out?

Kissing Bella earlier in the evening was sweet torture, at once pushing the limits of physical pleasure while testing the limits of his bloodlust. Edward had conquered the bloodlust without much problem, but it was there nonetheless. And it frightened him badly.

It'd been centuries since he even entertained the thought of feeding from a human, but Bella's blood called to him like none other had before. Still, beyond the call of her blood, there was the silence of her mind. As he told Alice earlier, it was peaceful beyond reason not to hear the constant chatter of her internal voice as he spoke with her. As much as he wanted to know what she thought of him, he found the silence to be a blessed relief.

Sniffing the air, Edward caught a faint whiff of Bella's distinctive scent. He looked wonderingly around himself and realized that he'd run to the edge of the forest. He was literally minutes from Bella's hotel room.

"So much for staying away," he muttered to himself, kicking at a stone as he walked towards the street.

Edward consoled himself, arguing that he would simply walk below where her window was and make sure she was safe. Secretly, he also hoped that in dreams he would be able to hear something of her inner musings. He knew from experience that people were more guarded while awake; he wondered if while she was less inhibited in sleep, he might be able to catch a glimpse, or at least an impression, of her thoughts.

Bella's scent was like a beacon to him, making him move faster than he would usually dare to go when humans were around. He found that he couldn't resist the urge to be closer to her, nearer to the magnetic essence that was drawing him.

Edward stood below her window, staggering slightly with Bella's overwhelmingly heavy scent in the air. He glanced up and growled lightly; her window was open. Rationally, he knew that there was no danger in the vicinity. There was no one, human or immortal, that posed a threat to Bella, and yet he was irrationally angry with her for not shutting her window against unknown dangers.

He had to chuckle at himself. What little he knew of Bella told him that she would balk at his worry. She was sturdy, used to taking care of not only herself but her father. Still, he reminded himself just how fragile she was. She could be broken; she could die.

He took another deep breath, allowing himself to become intoxicated with her scent. Edward's refined, immortal senses could note the differences in her smell from when he'd seen her earlier in the evening. It was heavier, almost earthier, and he could guess why. Bella was very likely aroused.

With a quick look around, Edward confirmed that he was alone. He leapt up to second floor windowsill. The sheer drapes fluttered in the breeze, allowing him tantalizing glimpses of the inside of her room. He rocked back and forth with gentle breeze, leaning further and further into the open window. Closing his eyes, he drank in her scent. It was so thick it seemed to wrap around him. How he wanted to plunge his face into her soft flesh and bury his nose at the source of that heavenly yet torturous scent.

Bella was twisting and turning in the bed. Edward chanced a better glimpse into her room and what he saw on the bed nearly brought him to his knees on the balcony.

"Fuck," he whispered reverently as the venom pooled in his mouth and his breathing sped unnecessarily.

Bella was naked, her body twisting in the white sheets as she moved in her sleep. Her breathing and heartbeat were steady, but he could smell the thick arousal in the air. Never before had he wished so fervently to see a woman's dreams. Always, it felt so much more intrusive to watch people as they dreamed, their innermost desires laid before him without even the slightest filter on them. But he longed to see Bella's; he longed to know if he played any role at all in them.

To his great disappointment, she was as silent to him in sleep as she had been while awake. Edward strained his gift, actually exerting force on that which came so naturally to him, and still her mind and all of her precious thoughts remained locked away.

Through the filmy white drapes, he saw Bella grimace in sleep. With a heavy sigh, he reached into the room and pulled the window closed, knowing he should leave her room exactly as it was, but unable to leave her vulnerable when he could not be there to protect her. Just as the window clicked shut, Edward heard her murmur in her sleep.

"So . . . cold," she whispered, and then she smiled.

Edward furrowed his brow as he leapt silently to the ground. Her reaction seemed off to him. Why had she not shivered if she was cold? Why had she smiled? _Could it be . . ._ No, he would not torture himself with what ifs. As Edward returned to the cover of the forest, he forced himself to admit what he had been so reluctant to admit to his sister. He was in love with Bella Swan.

It galled Edward to admit that after nearly 500 years, he'd finally met his mate. It wasn't that he didn't want a mate; more, it was that he'd resigned himself to the fact that he would never have one. He thought of himself as singular because of the uniqueness of his gift and felt that it would be nearly impossible for someone to find happiness with him knowing that he could always read their thoughts.

Still, he second guessed himself. She was a novelty. She was different from anyone else he'd encountered, either human or immortal. Perhaps he was just intrigued.

Above it all, however, was his desire to be close to her, his need to protect her. No, he was more than intrigued. For the first time in his existence, Edward was in love.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN:** Another little tidbit of the story for you. :) I hope you enjoy this short EPOV. I think it gives a clearer picture of how Edward fell for Bella in this story. Much love! ~Jen_


	3. Drabbles for Twistedin

Below are a series of five drabbles that I wrote for the lovely Twistedin_'s birthday yesterday. These are from different moments in TFP, told from Edward's POV, and they are meant to give you a better idea of how his outlook on himself changed throughout the story. If you haven't read TFP yet, I'd suggest waiting on this outtake as it contains spoilers to the actual story. Though FF seems to think differently, each of these drabbles is exactly 100 words. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: As always, Twilight belongs to Steph Meyers. Always had, always will. :)

* * *

><p><strong><em>Hunter<em>**

Edward stalked the night, alone and watchful. Collar turned up against a wind that never seemed to affect him, he walked amid the huddled masses – knowing their every secret.

It was lonely, but he preferred solitude to the well-meaning platitude of those who never understood him. Thirst would drive him out of the city, into the dark night of the forest where he would hunt and slack the burn.

It never erased the pain he worked so hard to ignore. The blood never eased the loneliness or absolved him of the guilt for his lost family.

Until he met Bella.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Bloom<strong>_

She burst like a bloom of color on a grey landscape the moment she entered the restaurant. Every aspect of her drew him in. Edward found excuses to touch her hot skin, to lean in and smell the bouquet. She was a banquet of delicious torture, and he was drunk on the excess.

"Your blood is exquisite agony." He pitched his voice low so she wouldn't hear.

She blushed again as he leaned close and a hot desire coursed through him. The urgency of it, combined with the need to protect her, was foreign to him. She would be dangerous.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Puzzle<strong>_

Dangerous … and yet so fragile. So perfect.

She was a minefield of conundrums, all wrapped into a neat package. To anyone else, Bella appeared straightforward – almost predictable. But to Edward, she was everything he'd been missing for so long. A puzzling gift to be unwrapped; a precious gem layered in secrets that she might allow him access to.

Would that he could be worthy of her.

"I trust you," she had said.

Edward's dead heart clenched, almost warmed, at the thought. And then the darkness threatened. There was so much he'd hidden from her. He would never be worthy.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Freedom<strong>_

The feel of her clinging to his back as he ran was like nothing Edward had ever experienced.

Freedom.

He'd always been free –freer than his family who remained imprisoned in Volterra. But this freedom was different. Bella knew him for what he was, and she loved him without reservation.

He ran faster, smiling as her laughter surrounded him. She clung tightly to him, her heart pounding wildly against her chest and playing a staccato rhythm on his back.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Home."

As she nestled her head on his neck, he knew he was already there.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Home<strong>_

For centuries, Edward had thought it improbable that he would find a mate. Not impossible, as Rosalie had thought once, only unlikely. Bella changed that, as she had changed so many other things.

The gifts she'd give him reached far beyond his now intact family. Yes, she'd brought them home.

Greater even than that, she'd healed him. Her love, like glue, bound the broken parts of his life together, sealing them and making him whole.

Her love, in its very essence, had changed him – something he _had_ thought impossible. Today, she'd take his name and the circle would be complete.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN:<em>**_ I hope you enjoyed. :) The epi for TFP is still coming; I'm working on it while I do novel edits. It's my prize to myself for getting done the stuff I need to get done on the novel. haha! It's a great motivator! Thanks so much for reading and again, happy birthday Lea! ILY! :)_


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